12 things you should never reveal about yourself at work

If the existence of trust falls tell us anything it’s that bonding with your colleagues is an important part of building a successful career. Anyone who has ever participated in corporate team-building exercises – like the good old trust fall – knows that there’s more to success than being good at the nuts and bolts of your job. However, you can’t just knock out a few cringe-worthy bonding exercises with Susan from accounts and be on your way up the corporate ladder; building a real relationship requires being open and revealing things about yourself. But how far do you go? How much is too much?

According to Travis Bradberry – the author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and co-founder of TalentSmart, a company that provides emotional intelligence tests and training to Fortune 500 companies- “you can’t build a strong professional network if you don’t open up to your colleagues; but doing so is tricky, because revealing the wrong things can have a devastating effect on your career,” he says.

Through his work Bradberry has tested more than a million people and his results reveal that 90 percent of successful people have high EQs. “Emotionally intelligent people are adept at reading others, and this shows them what they should and shouldn’t reveal about themselves at work” he says.

These are the 12 most common things that people reveal about themselves that are the biggest career no-nos.

1. You hate your job

Nothing good can come from whining about how much you hate your job. You will either come across as a negative person- and your colleagues will steer clear of you- or imply that you are looking elsewhere. “Bosses are quick to catch on to naysayers who drag down morale, and they know that there are always enthusiastic replacements waiting just around the corner,” Bradberry says.

2. That you think a colleague is incompetent

Throwing shade is fine for Taylor Swift and Katy Perry but if you do it at work you’ll likely just end up with bad blood – minus the hit song.

“Announcing your colleague’s incompetence comes across as an insecure attempt to make yourself look better,” Bradberry says. “Your callousness will inevitably come back to haunt you in the form of your co-workers’ negative opinions of you.”

3. How much money you make

People are rarely satisfied with how much money they make, regardless of how many zeros appear on their payslip. Not much good can come from revealing what you earn but it is likely to ruffle feathers at work. “As soon as everyone knows how much you make, everything you do at work is considered against your income,” says Bradberry. “It’s tempting to swap salary figures with a buddy out of curiosity, but the moment you do, you’ll never see each other the same way again.”

4. Your political and religious beliefs

The old saying “never discuss politics and religion at the dinner table” is also a good rule for the workplace. The same hot button topics that can blow up a dinner party are just as likely to cause issues at the office.

“Be willing to listen to others without inputting anything on your end because all it takes is a disapproving look to start a conflict,” Bradberry says. “Political opinions and religious beliefs are so deeply ingrained in people that challenging their views is more likely to get you judged than to change their minds.”

5. What you get up to on Facebook

We all have a friend who’s called in for a sickie and been busted on Facebook by their boss posting a photo at the beach or knocking back cocktails. Being careful about what you reveal on Facebook is one thing but you can’t necessarily control your Facebook friends’ online behavior. The best solution – although tricky to enforce – is to not be friends with your colleagues, or at least your boss, on Facebook.

“It could be what you’re wearing, whom you’re with, what you’re doing, or even your friends’ commentary, Bradberry says. “These are the little things that can cast a shadow of doubt in your boss’s or colleagues’ minds just when they are about to hand you a big assignment or recommend you for a promotion.”

6. What you do in the bedroom

Whether your sex life is hot and steamy or nonexistent, discussing this area of your life is a big no no.

“Such comments might get a chuckle from some people, but it makes most uncomfortable, and even offended,” Bradberry says. “Crossing this line will instantly give you a bad reputation.”

7. What you think someone else does in the bedroom

A good rule of thumb at work is: “don’t be a creep”. And “there’s no more surefire way to creep someone out than to let her know that thoughts of her love life have entered your brain,” Bradberry says. “Anything from speculating on a colleague’s sexual orientation to making a relatively indirect comment like, “Oh, to be a newlywed again,” plants a permanent seed in the brains of all who hear it that casts you in a negative light.

8. That you’re after someone else’s job

Ambition is fine but no one wants to work with someone who is only out for themselves and might knife them in the back at any turn. “Great employees want the whole team to succeed, not just themselves,” says Bradberry. “Regardless of your actual motives (some of us really do just work for the money), announcing your selfish goal will not help you get there.

9. How wild you used to be

You might look back wistfully on your days of drunkenly stealing farm animals or waking up in strange places after a big night out but the last thing you want to display to colleagues is that you have poor self-control. “Your past can say a lot about you,” says Bradberry. “Just because you did something outlandish or stupid 20 years ago doesn’t mean that people will believe you’ve developed impeccable judgment since then.”

10. How intoxicated you like to get

Perhaps your wild days aren’t quite behind you? Try to keep it to yourself. “Sharing this will not get people to think you’re fun,” says Bradberry. “Instead, they will see you as unpredictable, immature, and lacking in good judgment. Too many people have negative views of drugs and alcohol for you to reveal how much you love to indulge in them.”

11. You have an offensive sense of humor

Don’t be that person who rails against how PC everyone is these days and then trots out a questionable joke at work. “If there is anyone who would be offended by your joke, you are better off not telling it,” Bradberry says. “You never know whom people know or what experiences they’ve had in life that can lead your joke to tread on subjects that they take very seriously.”

12. That you’re looking for another job

Whichever way this pans out it’s not a good idea. “Once you reveal that you’re planning to leave, you suddenly become a waste of everyone’s time,” Bradberry says. “There’s also the chance that your hunt will be unsuccessful, so it’s best to wait until you’ve found a job before you tell anyone.”

 

By Alice Wasley

Source: nypost.com

Posted 2017